by Christine Hunt
Be merry!! Be joyful!! Be of good cheer!! Gather with friends and family!! It is the time of giving!! Seasons Greetings!! This is what you generally hear during the holiday season. Everyone is (supposedly) happy and cheerful.
And many of us are. We share our holidays with family and close friends. We laugh. We feel good. But for the adults who live alone or for those who live away from family, Christmas and the holidays in general can be difficult, lonely and sometimes depressing.
Some are going through separation or divorce and may feel isolated. Job and military transfers take people away from family support. As we age we lose parents and other close family members and the holidays can be filled with grief, sadness and loss that they are no longer a part of our lives. Even if family is nearby, strife or disagreements amongst its members puts a strain on being cheerful around those who make you anxious or downright angry. And some people’s jobs require them to work on holidays and they may feel cheated.
Feeling lonely, rejected, forgotten, sad, loss, misunderstood, used, angry, alienated, or grief leaves little room for a cheery disposition. So what can one do to improve their spirits?
Here are some ideas to try this year.
1. Try not to compare the day with previous Christmases. Do something different. Begin your own traditions. Have a plan for the day. You could think of the day as a holiday day off from work and do things that you’ve always wanted to do like read that book you’ve been meaning to get to.
2. Seek out others that you know from work or organizations to which you belong and plan something together. Many people don’t let on that they are alone since they don’t want to bother anyone or have others feel sorry for them. Reach out to them and they may be glad that you did. You don’t have to do anything fancy. Do a pot luck meal and a gift swap. Que up some traditional or non-traditional Christmas movies to watch together. Play games to keep the mood light.
3. With the electronic capabilities of communication these days you can see friends and family from afar. Plan a specific time to connect with your loved ones by phone or video conferencing so that you can share some of the day with them.
4. You could travel to spend the day with a friend you haven’t seen in years or go on a retreat near home or abroad that you’ve always meant to do.
5. Volunteer to help with a local charity. It could be serving dinner at a homeless shelter. Visiting hospitalized children or a nursing home. You could hand out small gifts or plan Christmas carol sing-alongs to lift everyone’s spirits.
6. If you are grieving the loss of a loved one it is a good time to talk about your feelings or reach out for assistance. EFT is an excellent methodology to help relieve the emotional turmoil around loss.
7. If you have family nearby but you don’t get along with them, think of neutral responses that you can say when conflict arises such as: “Let’s talk about that another time.” or “I can see how you would feel that way.” Then escape to offer to help in the kitchen, go to the restroom or hang out with the kids.
8. Turn the tide of your thoughts from those of lack to those of gratitude. We may see Christmas as a time of other people have so much and you have so little. Think about what you do have. They can be simple things like good food to eat, your health, a warm, dry home or even that you have a decent job and lifestyle when some around the world, or even in your own community may have much less.
9. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is another contributing factor to feeling bad during the holidays. Make time to get some exposure to the sun. If you are in a cold climate find a sunny place that may have some protection from chilly winds where you can sit for a while or make it a point to take walks on nice days to get some natural exposure to sunlight.
10. Change how you feel. Wouldn’t it be nice to shift the way you think and feel about the holidays to thoughts and feelings that are happier rather than be bogged down with loneliness and sadness?
When doing something still doesn’t give you the relief that you need from feeling alone and all the other emotions that accompany it, consider seeking help.
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) helps to free you from the feelings of loneliness, sadness, anger, resentment, rejection, loss, grief and other emotions from which you may be suffering. You have these feelings because of how you reacted to something that happened to you. EFT helps you resolve those experiences which releases the associated emotions.
Why not treat yourself or a loved one to the gift of emotional freedom this year and reap the benefits of it next year and the year after that and the year after that and …..
Contact Christine Hunt to learn more about it.
To your health, joy and peace of mind.
What do you do to feel good during the holidays?
Please share your questions and comments below.
Christine Hunt is a Wellness Coach and Certified EFT Practitioner and has found that working with the whole person by combining mind/body work, dietary adjustments and movement provides her clients with the tools they need to lose weight (and keep it off), get relief from chronic illness and positively transform their lives. Contact her for a free, 15 minute consultation to learn why what she does works when other methods have failed.
Christine works with her clients in person, by Skype or phone. So, if you live away from the Annapolis, Maryland area, she can still work with you.