Have you ever not been happy?
Have you ever not been afraid?
Have you ever been embarrassed or humiliated?
Have you ever had your feelings hurt?
Have you led a perfect life?
Of course not!
We have all been hurt, embarrassed, been wronged, and scared to death at some point in our lives. Most likely there is something that you wished had never happened.
Let’s face it, we are all damaged in some way. When the damage occurred, you made choices and decisions about what happened. You may have decided that you would never put yourself in that position again or that you would never associate with those people again or that you would never say/do that again. This is how we protect ourselves from future harm – both physically and emotionally.
By making these decisions and taking these vows “to never” we subconsciously shape our future.
A decision can be to our advantage. If you had a bad experience of burning your hand by picking up a hot pan, which made you decide to pause a beat and determine if the pan is hot before you touch it in the future, and maybe never pick up a hot pan without a protective mit or hot pad. This is basic common sense.
Other decisions/vows are subtler and may not come as a result of something that is traumatic to us. You could have made a decision based on what someone, that you looked up to or wanted as a friend, said. In order to stay in their good graces, you decide that you won’t do what they disapprove of because then they would disapprove of and maybe reject you.
A parent could have criticized the amount of money of a very wealthy person. As a small child who looked up to your parent you may have decided that making a lot of money was a bad thing to do so you would never make too much of it for fear of being snubbed by your loved one. This subconscious thought then sabotages your efforts to make money and you never seem to be able to get ahead and have the nice things that you may desire.
A common reason why some women have difficulty losing weight is because the pretty, skinny, popular girls in school were mean to them or someone that they liked. A silent vow of never wanting to be like them can result in always weighing more than what you really want.
We then move through life with these subconscious handicaps that are roadblocks to achieving our passions.
Everyone’s experiences and reactions are different. This is not a one-size-fits-all world. To understand why you continually struggle with an issue you need to determine why the decision or vow was made. The visualization exercise below will help you uncover some of these reasons and identify the people that were involved.
Find a time and place that is comfortable and quiet, where you won’t be interrupted for about 15 minutes. Please have a pen and paper handy so that you can write down what you discover in this powerful visualization.
You may listen to the recording of this visualization exercise here:
Or you may read it below, stopping periodically to write down your thoughts, feelings and memories that the questions prompt.
Revealing the Roots Visualization:
Just for a minute, I want you to close your eyes, because we are going to be visualizing and imagining something and this just works better if your eyes are closed.
Here is what I want you to do. Imagine, or let your imagination paint the picture of you looking at a movie screen. See that movie screen in your mind’s eye.
On that movie screen is a movie of you and you are standing on a stage in front of a hundred, maybe thousands of people. This audience is made up of everyone that you know, including your parents, your siblings, former and current colleagues. Look for your friends, teammates and teachers from high school or college. And include people you know from clubs and organizations to which you below. Anyone and everyone that you’ve ever known is present.
You are standing on that stage and you are holding up a sign with your resolution on it. It says that you weigh ________ (fill in the blank). Or that you are making __________ (amount of money). Whatever your resolution is, that you want to achieve, is on that sign.
As you are holding up the sign, you are saying to the entire audience “This is what I deserve and I am totally worth it. I am an awesome person.” And just watch that movie for a bit.
Now, what just happened in that movie?
What do you see in that version of you standing on that stage?
Note your feelings. Are you feeling embarrassed, afraid or shame? Is there anxiety, like “Who do I think I am”? What are you feeling?
Are you feeling something in your body right now?
Where are you feeling it? How would you describe the feeling? What color is it? Does it have a shape? What kind of density is it? Is it light and airy, or watery or dense and heavy?
When you feel an anxiety or stress or embarrassment response like this, it means that you just broke a rule. A rule that you learned very early that you were never supposed to break. Can you see and feel that?
So, when you declared you achieving your resolution, and how deserving you are and how great you are, what rule did you break?
Now, turn your attention to the audience and observe how they are looking at you.
What do you see in their reactions?
Are people cheering for you?
Maybe some are cheering, but are some looking at you skeptically?
Are some people saying “Who do you think you are?”
Do you see doubt on their faces?
Or do any of them look angry?
Or worse, are some of them laughing at you?
Are you feeling guilty about tooting your own horn?
As you declared “This is what I deserve and I am totally worth it. I am an awesome person.”
I want you to also notice, did you hear a dialogue inside your head? A dialogue of self-doubt?
If so, what ran through your head – what words or sentences?
Are you seeing and feeling all of that?
Now take a minute and write all of these things down.
First, what were the strongest feelings and emotions you felt during the visualization exercise and how strong were they on a scale of 0-10 if ten is the worst.
Secondly, what was the most prominent negative reaction that you saw in the audience, even if some people were cheering. What was the most prominent negative reaction that you saw?
Third, what’s the most common thing you say to yourself when the self-doubt kicks in?
And finally, what rules did you break on that stage that you’ve been taught never to break because something bad was going to happen?
Let’s put this all together so that you can see the connection.
Fill in this paper on what you’ve just experienced and do it in this format. Take what you’ve written so far and fill out these sentences.
Click on the link below for a .pdf file that you may download, print out and fill in: Revealing_the_Roots_Visualization_Questions_Form
When I think about achieving my resolution:
My nervous system is wired to flood with the emotions of ________ and ____________.
(Fill in the blanks with the two strongest emotions that came up for you.)
I have an unconscious expectation that people will react in this way ________________.
(Fill in the blank with the most negative reactions.)
I immediately start to say this to myself over and over _______________________.
(Capture that self-talk.)
Close your eyes again.
So let’s check in. Are you starting to understand why you are having trouble committing to your resolution and even allowing yourself to feel confident?
Do you see how not trying to break a secret, hidden rule has continually stopped you in your tracks? How likely, this same rule has affected not just your ability to be successful at accomplishing your resolution, but many other areas of your life as well?
Just sit with that for a second and welcome to your Aha moment, because you have just begun to uncover the true origins of why you continue to struggle with your resolution, doubting yourself and even feeling strong emotions like fear, shame or guilt about how valuable, worthy and deserving you truly are to get what you want.
This is the answer to that question that may have always been turning in your head that sounds like this.
“Why do I hold myself back?” Why do I continue to get in my own way just when I start feeling like I’m finally getting on track?
Does that make sense?
Now, I want to build on that and I’m going to ask you kind of a difficult question. Ready?
Take a look at what you wrote down. How much has this subconscious, self-sabotage, running through your nervous system, running through your mind, running through your life, how much has it cost you?
How much of your confidence has it cost you?
How much freedom and happiness has it cost you?
What has it cost you in the last five years of your life?
Do you think it has affected your potential earning income?
Now think for a moment, and how much will it continue to cost you in confidence, freedom, happiness and maybe income in the next 5 years or more if it stays in place – if nothing changes.
I know that thinking about this is not fun, and it’s kind of painful, but it is critical that you get very clear about how much this is costing you because it is really the only way that you will ever be able to move forward.
The reality is that this has probably cost you a lot more than you realized and, I truly want you to see this clearly so that you can have the opportunity to begin turning things around – and finally be able to make a truly informed, empowered decision about whether or not you want to continue carrying this old baggage.
Think about this for a moment. If all of this baggage was cleared away and all you were left with is sparkling confidence, how would that affect your ability and willingness to boldly and passionately achieve your dreams – make your resolution a reality?
What would it feel like to walk around in that version of you? The version of you with that full confidence that no longer operates from these old, automatic, self-sabotaging reactions, literally wired into your nervous system that are based on old programming.
Another big piece of clarity that I want you to get from this process is discovering what is possible for you when these things are uncovered, brought into the light and then simply cleared away.
It is possible for you to step into the confident, powerful person you want to be – and to start creating your life on purpose.
From that place, imagine what your life would be like. Who you would be. How you would be.
What kinds of things would you spend your time doing? How much more would you enjoy them?
The truth is, when we shed the light of consciousness on the hidden roots of what’s been holding us back, we finally get the awareness and the chance to clear out the garbage and make room for change…to shift into our most powerful place, and have the freedom to create a passion-filled, purpose driven life. When we do that, anything is possible. Anything.
Now I want you to open your eyes and gently take a deep breath and let it out.
Take a few moments and make notes of anything else that came to you during this exercise. These could be emotions, memories, body sensations, any thoughts and feelings at all.
You have chosen to participate in this program because you want to change something in your life. What you wrote down during this exercise is one or more of the main obstacles to your success – not just in reaching your resolution objective, but your life in general.
Now use EFT to release the emotional bond to these memories. Review the instructions on the How to do EFT page and work on each memory and the associated emotions and body sensations until your intensity level is a 0.
Be sure to share your questions and successes on the ROB Facebook page.
If you feel that you need additional help with identifying and clearing your roadblocks, you may schedule individual coaching sessions. Just pay for the difference and upgrade to either the Bust a Lot or Bust a Lot More packages.
Christine Hunt hereafter known as “The Coach” is a Certified EFT Practitioner but not a medical professional. The information The Coach conveys during the Resolution Obstacle Buster program is primarily from her experience as an EFT Coach or from books, articles, newsletters and papers, written by medical professionals or experts in the health & wellness fields. Your participation in this program signifies your acceptance of complete and full responsibility in your use of this information and will in no way hold The Coach liable. The Coach cannot guarantee participants’ expected outcomes, from use of this information, since participants’ results will vary based on their diligence in applying the recommended work and the complexity of their life history. It is recommended that you consult a medical/psychological professional if you have any concerns.