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Building the New You
Most of the Resolution Obstacle Buster program has focused on a lot of life’s negativities. There is a reason for that. It is essential to address and remove the negative thoughts and beliefs that weigh us down and regulate our every thought and action before we can begin to change our behavior.
An example I like to share relates to the foundation of an old farmhouse. This house is at least one hundred years old and in need of a complete renovation. It has holes in the walls, the roof is sagging and all of the electrical wiring and plumbing needs to be replaced. The foundation of the house is also compromised with areas that are crumbling and cracks due to settlement over the years. You’d like to just build a big, beautiful, new house but the county codes restrict you to using the original foundation. You can’t put a new structure on top of the crumbing foundation so, you repair all the holes and correct the causes of the settling. Now there is a solid foundation for you to build your new house on and a confidence that it will last for a hundred years or more.
The foundation is the negative thoughts and beliefs that you’ve been living with. Throughout the exercises in this program and the use of EFT to release them you have been repairing your foundation. Once that foundation is good and strong and you’re not having the adverse reactions to seemingly innocuous, daily situations, then you are ready to move on to build your new house.
The house is your new life and you can make it whatever your heart desires. Each room represents an aspect of your life. One room is set aside just for you – like your own personal sanctuary. Another is your health and physical body. Another room, or maybe several rooms, is your relationships with others. There is a room for your spouse or partner; one can be for each of your children; one can be for friends; another for co-workers. Your financial life has a room. This house will have all the rooms you need for each facet of your life.
When you visit each room, you will know if you are pleased with how you feel about it or if you think it needs more work. If you sense the latter, then it is time to explore those feelings and use EFT to clean it up.
As you become satisfied and comfortable with each room, then it is time to embellish it with all the things that you love to have and look at. This is bringing in the positive thoughts and beliefs that will make your house your home. This is the new you that is as radiant as the sun and lives a joyous, fulfilling life. This is the new you that achieves your perfect weight, creates financial wealth, enjoys satisfying relationships, optimizes your health and wellness and wakes up every morning loving life.
This module is about creating that new you. It is about moving away from being a victim of your past and coping with what life serves you, into a place of empowerment and personal control and guidance to create the life you so passionately desire and deserve.
Law of attraction
You’ve probably heard the saying that opposites attract. This can be true for relationships and magnets. But the Law of Attraction is about like attracting like. In the universal Law of Attraction, you receive what you give.
In the 1960s there were discussions and songs about good vibrations. Someone would have a good vibe or a bad vibe. This was usually in reference to a person’s mood or overall state of being. A person with good vibes was usually happy or content and good things seemed to naturally and effortlessly flow to them. A person with bad vibes wasn’t always the type of person you wanted to spend time with. They were a “downer” and tended to bring the moods of others down with them. Life for them was a struggle and they always seemed to be behind the eight ball.
The Law of Attraction is all about vibrations. Your vibrations – good or bad, high or low, – will attract the same level of intensity. This can show up as people in your life, the type of job you have, the amount of money that you make – these will all have a similar vibration to yours. So, if you are constantly unhappy and have a negative outlook about yourself or your life, you have a low vibration and the opposite is true if you are positive, grateful and usually happy.
The way to change this is to change your reaction to everyday occurrences from fearful, hostile and negative thoughts to loving, confident, approving responses. Every time that you clear an aspect of negativity out of your life, you raise your vibration a bit. The more you clear, the higher your vibration the more positive thoughts you think and the more positive things you attract into your life, the better you feel.
“You are the creator of your own reality because
you are the chooser of the thought right now.
Reach for the best feeling thought you have access to.”
If the old, negative thoughts and beliefs are low level energy vibrations then positive, loving thoughts and beliefs are high level vibrations. Your goal is to achieve and consistently maintain a state of high level vibrations throughout the rest of your life.
Sound impossible? Sound overwhelming? It is understandable if you feel that way, and maybe a few rounds of EFT will help you with that. But like any undertaking that seems monumental and overwhelming at first, breaking it down to smaller steps and having a plan in place will aid you in seeing how manageable this adventure can be.
“The best way to eat the elephant standing in your path is to cut it up into little pieces.” – Old African proverb
Let’s talk a little bit about how energy works. We will begin with the basics of electricity. The house you built has to have wiring in to provide electricity to the rooms and run the major and minor appliances. Electricity comes in from the main power grid in a controlled voltage that your house wiring can accommodate. You flip a switch and the lights turn on and off. Everything works fine and you feel good.
Time passes and in the course of some general maintenance, it is discovered that there is some corrosion on the wires where they connect to your main electrical breaker box and they are generating enough heat that threatens a fire. A repair is made that removes the resistance, the wires cool and you breathe a sigh of relief.
Electrical resistance creates heat because it is causing a constriction or blockage that prevents electricity from flowing freely. If the resistance is great enough and lasts long enough it can cause a fire that has the potential to burn your house down.
The same thing happens in our lives and bodies. Low energy vibrations are full of resistance that we have built up from life’s traumas and are perpetuated through our negative thoughts and feelings. This results in dark, dense blockages in our body’s energetic acupuncture meridian systems and auras. When we live in this low vibrational state we are attracting people and experiences that match our vibration. These encounters cause a continuous stream of situations that cause friction which continues to maintain the low vibrational status.
When energy is flowing freely the opposite is true. We live in a high vibrational state and attract people and experiences that harmonize with us. We feel lighter, unencumbered. We feel happy. We are optimistic that our hopes and dreams will be realized. We feel love for ourselves and others. We can forgive and we are grateful for everything and every day.
We move away from being a victim of our past and coping with what life serves us and we move into a place of empowerment, personal control and utilize our inner guidance to create the life we want.
Body Language’s Connection to Vibrations
Amy Cuddy, a professor and researcher at Harvard Business School, studies how nonverbal behavior and body position influences others and even your own brain.
Watch this twenty-minute TED Talk to learn how your body changes your mind, your mind changes your behavior and your behavior changes your outcomes. She also gives you examples of how to fake it until you become it.
Raising Your Vibration
If you have been consistently doing the exercises in the previous modules and tapping on all of the resistance that you’ve uncovered, you are already raising your vibration. You may realize that you do feel better – a little happier, like a cloud is lifting. You may be making plans to approach a project that you’ve put off because you didn’t have the energy for it. Maybe you are getting along better with someone that has irritated you. Things that used to bother you no longer have the same effect. You think about something that you would like to have or happen and it shows up. These are the shifts that a higher vibration brings.
If you notice that your life is still full of roadblocks, that you are struggling with the difficulties you encounter and all you can think of is how bad things are going, then you may still be in a place of lower vibration. Dedicate time each day to recognize the problems that crop up and your emotional reaction to them and use EFT to release your connection to the situation. Before long the tide will turn and your days will have less conflict and more joy.
Begin paying attention to the changes in yourself and how you are showing up for life every day. These are things that you can make note of in your ROB notebook/journal to help you track and verify that changes are indeed occurring.
Raising your vibration is all about embracing good feeling thoughts and emotions and making that your dominant state of being no matter what is happening to or around you. That’s it! Lesson over! (Just kidding.)
In order to do that you need to come from a solid foundation (remember the story about repairing the house foundation above) and that has to do with your alignment or misalignment (also known as resistance) with your Source. Source can be defined as your Inner Being, your Higher Self, your Higher Power, The Universe, even God.
Your level of alignment with your Source will determine the emotions that you feel. When you are at peace with yourself, when you have resolved the painful experiences of your past, when you are solidly standing in a place of high self-esteem, when you have forgiven yourself and others for the pain they have caused you and those close to you, when you love yourself and when joy is your predominant feeling, regardless of what negative elements you encounter in life, then you are in alignment with your Source.
When you are in alignment with your Source, you experience emotional well-being and situations that used to trigger a stress response in you no longer do. When you have reached this place then the emotional need for smoking, drugs, alcohol, excessive eating and other substances and activities that held you captive no longer have power over you.
This is a powerful place to be in but not in terms of being overbearing or controlling. The power of Source is derived from love and peace and manifests as compassion for yourself and your fellow man. Its power creates personal self-control and allows you to answer adversity with love and understanding. This power shows up as serenity, ease and patience.
And it is contagious. Dan Millman wrote Way of the Peaceful Warrior which was made into a movie in 2006. It is an autobiography of a time during his college years when he was mentored by 94-year old Socrates. Socrates used a blend of Eastern philosophy and Western fitness to aid Millman in becoming a world-champion gymnast. At one point in the story, when Millman had mastered the teachings, he was sitting on a bench at a gymnastic meet waiting his turn. His teammate sitting next to him asked him how he did what he did so well – and he wasn’t talking about just his gymnastic ability, but Millman’s way of handling life. The friend said “I want what you have”.
When you move toward that level of connection with your Source then you will be the vibration you need to attract and manifest all of your desires.
It Takes Focus
Appreciation is the absence of everything that feels bad and the presence of everything that feels good.
Love and appreciation are identical vibrations and are the most important tools you have to come into vibrational alignment with Source.
In order to begin living in a state of love and appreciation you have to start telling a different story of your life. You cannot be complaining about what is and be a vibrational match to the solution. The sooner you get out of the complaining mode of “Woe is me” and into thinking about “What do I need to know in order to solve the problem” the sooner you can shift your vibrational energy to a higher, optimistic, solution state.
This takes focus, paying attention to your emotional barometer and monitoring your reactions to the situations that you find yourself in that don’t feel good to you. Make note mentally or start a chart of when you notice these feelings. Total up what percentage of your day you are wallowing in irritation, anger and blame and what percentage you are spending on feeling eager, optimistic, happy and solution oriented. Once you have a grasp on what side of the emotional fence you spend most of your time, you can take conscious action to change.
To begin to see results, you don’t have to be in a higher vibration 100%, 80% or even 70% of the time. Set a goal for feeling better 10% of the time, then 20%, then 30% then 40% until you are up to 55%. At each level, you will experience changes but once you hit 55% you will have significant movement in your happiness factor and you will know that your life is different in very good ways.
You will only benefit from resisting the temptation
to think immediately about the worst possible outcome.
When something comes up, when something happens
in your life, that disrupts the easy “flow,” it is always
better to bless it than to damn it. Try to see it as nothing
serious. It most cases, it will not be.
Jumping to conclusions mired in negativity only thwarts
the process by which your mind can stay clear, and
thus, find a way out of the momentary dilemma.
– Neale Donald Walsch
There is an old Cherokee legend called “Two Wolves”, which you may have heard before, and it goes like this.
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, gilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person too.
The grandson through about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
This simple story explains so much. We have the choice each and every moment of any given day to decide how we will show up. Are we going to be angry or happy? Are we going to bring down those around us or lift them up? When you choose the latter and take action to make it happen, resistance recedes, you come into alignment with your desires and all that you have asked for flows into your life.
Allow Yourself Time
“When people ask us how long does it take for something to manifest, we say,
“It takes as long as it takes you to release the resistance.
Could be 30 years, could be 40 years, could be 50 years, could be a week.
Could be tomorrow afternoon.”
Although we have the power to change anything we want in an instant, for most of us it takes time – sometimes a long time because we have to change a habit that we have created and repeated countless times in our lives.
A good way to spur yourself into action is to understand why you want to make this change. What are you unsatisfied with? Is it you, where you are living, who you are working with, who you are in a relationship with, did you get a glimpse of how others see you and didn’t like it?
If you recall, Module 1 of this program was all about changing habits but focused on the New Year resolution habit you wanted to eliminate. Please review Module 1 to refresh your memory about change and apply the steps to help you more easily focus on the new story that you want to create in your life.
Getting into the Flow
Going with the flow, being in the zone, getting centered, being grounded, being in your vortex, having good vibes all apply to the same thing which is living in a state of joy, peace and love and in alignment with Source. It is life energy itself. EFT has helped you release blocks that have kept you from achieving this vibrational level. Here are some steps that you can take to continue accessing higher levels of emotions.
Take an inventory of people in your life and break free of those that do not support the positive emotional life you want to live. These members of the Discouragement Committee are the people who snuff out your light. They poo poo your ideas and tell you all the reasons why they won’t work. They may be afraid that your success could take success away from them. Their thoughts are powerful and, if you are not solidly centered, may sabotage your dreams.
When you shift out of their vibrational level you will need to find and associate with those that are aligned with the new you. Otherwise you may feel alone and isolated.
Thoughts manifest. Every thought you think is vibrating at a personal frequency; and by the power of Law of Attraction, that thought attracts another thought that matches its vibration. Those thoughts combined are vibrating at a higher frequency than the original thought. This cycle repeats over and over until eventually the thoughts are powerful enough to manifest a real-life situation. This is why if you are continuously thinking that your life sucks your life manifests more people, finances, relationships and situations that support that thinking. To change that you need to focus on thoughts and vibrations that match your desires, not those that match what is and where you are.
Imagine that you are a radio tuner and whatever station you are set to is the type of music that you play. When you focus your attention on something, you are setting your tuner to that station. In as little as 17 seconds, the vibration of that focus is activated within you, and once activated, the Law of Attraction responds to that vibration whether you have said “Yes” or “No” to it. You have given thought to it, whether it is wanted or unwanted, and it is now a part of your vibration.
Focus on what you want in life to make it flourish. Review Steps 6 and 7 in Module 1 on being focused, mindful and disciplined. Monitor your thoughts and when you find yourself slipping into negativity, turn that ship around. Stop for a moment, recognize what you are doing and analyze how you can view the situation differently. In Module 2 review Step 2 and determine what category your thoughts fall into and if you have any control over what you are thinking about. If not, then let it go. If so, then shift into thinking about a solution. If the negative thoughts are obsessing on abstract fears, that may or may not ever manifest, first, stop obsessing and make a decision to think about it differently and put a positive spin on it.
If you want to begin attracting more positive people, relationships and experiences then it is imperative that you think happier, loving thoughts. This may require you to be more open-minded and remove the filters and blinders that you have accumulated. Take them off, expand your view and see the world in a different way – through new eyes.
Allowing vs. Resisting. When we resist, we are in opposition to something that we don’t want. When we want to tell a new story and create a better life, resistance – on some level – is the main obstacle to our success. We resist because we believe that we are vulnerable or susceptible to some unwanted thing and we need to protect ourselves. In short, we are afraid of change. Something is holding us back. EFT is what we use to uncover these hidden, obscure fears and obliterate them. But, for our story to change, we still need to allow the good things into our life.
Earlier you read about the flow of electricity and how corrosion on the wires creates resistance, which creates heat. Emotionally this resistance is fear, anger, doubt – all of the emotions you’ve been clearing with your EFT work. Resistance bogs you down. If you have resistance to your new story it will never thrive and come to fruition.
Think about a river or a mountain stream and the route it takes along its course. Water flows along the path of least resistance. It’s effortless, cool and calm – the ultimate analogy of “going with the flow”. When you are allowing good feelings, everything flows effortlessly.
You have total control of either allowing or resisting. When you feel good, you are allowing good. When you don’t feel good you are resisting. Reach for the thoughts and feelings that support your new story and decide that your life will simply be as good as you allow it to be.
Appreciate more. When you are in a state of appreciation of yourself and others, you are in the closest possible vibrational match to your Source Energy – which means you are in a very high state of vibration which means that your ability to attract and manifest is at peak capacity.
Appreciation, gratitude and love are synonymous and all mean that you find pleasure in an experience. A way to increase the frequency and intensity of these feelings is to pay attention to whom and what is around you. Start with small things; a child’s laughter, the song of a bird, a good, clean joke, how the sun feels on your face, the rustling of leaves in a soft breeze, a warm cup of coffee or tea or how comfortable your bed feels when you get into it at night.
As you become adept at noticing these things and taking the few moments it takes to smile, acknowledge how simple but powerful they are at lifting your spirits and feel joy at the impact they have on your day, then you can begin to turn your attention to doing pleasurable things all through your day. It can be just sitting quietly listening to music. It can be taking a walk outside on a beautiful day either alone or with a good friend. It can be reading, meditating, watching funny videos on YouTube, cuddling with a loved one, creating an arrangement of flowers cut from your garden, listening to inspirational audios, playing with your kids or your pet.
What is it that gives you pleasure that you can do every day? It doesn’t have to be the same thing, it just has to make you feel good, loving, joyous, content, satisfied, hopeful and want to smile. Choose anything that will raise your vibration.
Appreciating others is a big part of this process. Think of how you feel when someone thanks you for helping them with a simple task. It makes you feel good, doesn’t it? Spread that feeling by letting others know that you appreciate them. Pay them a complement on what they are wearing and how they look, or just tell them that you appreciate them for being a friend, or helping you with the work project, or taking you to the airport or helping out with the kids. It will lift their spirits and you will benefit in kind.
Just saying “Thank you” has become commonplace. Looking a person in the eye, and telling them how much you appreciate them in a heartfelt manner gets their attention, emphasizes your sincerity and makes a strong impact. It is a beautiful, loving way to express how much you value them and that what they did made a positive impact on your life. It is the ultimate compliment. Throwing in a hug doesn’t hurt either.
Act less and think more. We are a society of Doers. We have been led to believe that you have to work hard and struggle to get what you want. The Law of Attraction teaches just the opposite and uses the tools of thinking, visualizing and feeling to manifest your perfect life.
That is not to say that we need to stop all action and meditate all day, but rather take time each day to focus on your desires. Take 10-15 minutes each day to visualize something pleasurable. This is where the vision board you created in Module 2 is so valuable. It is a compilation of your desires. It is the story of how you want your life to be. Pick one or more things on your vision board to focus your time on. It can be a person, place, opportunity or a statement or emotion.
Although the Universe reacts to the vibrations of feelings, at first it may be difficult to generate the feeling of how it would be to have what you are focused on. Begin by visualizing on the good thoughts you have around that desire. Does having that in your life make you happy, successful or rewarded?
Once you have mastered the thoughts that are generated, the feelings will follow. Then, while you are visualizing also get into the feeling of what it is like to have that thing come about. Imagine that you have it. What is that like? How does it make you feel, what does it look like, what does it mean to you to have it, what difference will it make in your life?
Doing this will focalize energy within you that the Universe will act upon and you will notice that you are more productive and that things come easier as a result of 15 minutes of focused attention vs. hours of action.
Listen to inspiring audios. Steps four and five above may be difficult to achieve at first and listening to someone that can guide you into experiencing the positive thoughts and feelings can be helpful. A series of audios that I have found helpful is the Abraham-Hicks Morning Rampage. You do not need to listen to them in any order. Some are a few minutes, others for 15 minutes or more long and some of them repeat the same information but in a different way.
Below are a couple of links to some “Rampages” that I have found helpful and inspiring. I hope you do too.
Abraham-Hicks 2016 – Do These 4 Things Daily
Abraham-Hicks – A Morning Rampage to Set Your Day for Magic!
There is no path to Happiness. Happiness is the path.
There is no path to Love. Love is the path.
There is no path to Peace. Peace is the path.”
― Dan Millman
Number 5 of this module, above, instructs you to visualize, and feel what it is like to have the things on your vision board. But, like the Dan Millman quote above it is really about just Being what you want. Embrace it fully. Live, eat, breathe it every minute of every day. Become your new story.
This is a story to help you understand what that means:
How to Fill a Sieve with Water
A Buddhist Story
The Zen master and his disciple made their way across the sand to the shore. The disciple was carrying a cup and a sieve.
At the water’s edge, they stood on a rock, the sea breaking around them in great, frothy swirls. “Show me how you would fill the sieve with water,” the master said. The disciple stooped and filled the cup with water. He poured it into the sieve. Cup after cup he poured into the heart of the sieve but no matter how quickly he poured, only the slightest moisture was left in the bottom. Even that soon formed a drop that was then swallowed in the vastness of the ocean. All the time the master watched, saying nothing.
In the end, the disciple faced the master and shrugged. The task was hopeless. Now, the master spoke: “It is like this with the life of the human spirit too,” he said. “So long as we stand on the rock of I, or myself-ness, of selfishness, and try to pour the divine life into that shell, so certainly that life will escape us. This is not the way to fill a sieve with water, nor the human spirit with the life of the divine.”
Then the master reached out his hand and took the sieve from the disciple. He thrust his arm far behind him then launched the sieve as far as he could, out onto the face of the deep. For a moment, it lay glinting in the morning sunlight on the face of the water. Then it slipped far below. “Now, it is full of water,” the master said. “And it will always be so. That is how you fill a sieve with water and the spirit with divine life. You throw the myself, the I, far out and away to sink into the deep sea of the divine life.”
This story is about immersing yourself in what it is that you want to become. In this case, it is a life of the divine, but for you it is the future story you have written for yourself.
Your journey begins with a SMILE which stands for Start My Internal Love Engine. When you smile you can’t help but feel joy. Then, just BE happy. Find everything you can to be happy about – a sunny day, warm water in your shower, the taste of good food. BE the experience by embracing the feeling and letting it permeate your entire body and thought process.
Then BE whatever else it is that you want. BE prosperous, BE successful, BE a loving spouse, BE a caring parent, BE a great boss, BE where you want to live, BE the career you want. BE the body you want. BE a believer. BE the faith that your vision will become a reality. BE everything you have on your vision board. BE your new life.
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Christine Hunt hereafter known as “The Coach” is a Certified EFT Practitioner but not a medical professional. The information The Coach conveys during the Resolution Obstacle Buster program is primarily from her experience as an EFT Coach or from books, articles, newsletters and papers, written by medical professionals or experts in the health & wellness fields. Your participation in this program signifies your acceptance of complete and full responsibility in your use of this information and will in no way hold The Coach liable. The Coach cannot guarantee participants’ expected outcomes, from use of this information, since participants’ results will vary based on their diligence in applying the recommended work and the complexity of their life history. It is recommended that you consult a medical/psychological professional if you have any concerns.